Week 4 Story: A Fiery Demon
A Fiery Demon
As they sat around the table, contemplating the day before them, their minds filled with terror as they realized what they must do.
"It's time," the boss said. Her stare turned to me,"Wake the beast."
With a deep breath and fear in my eyes, I began the trek all the way down the hall to the beast's chambers. Even outside the door, I could hear her snores roaring as she slumbered. I slowly creaked open the door and tiptoed toward the bed. Through the crack of the door, the tiniest ray of light illuminated the face of the beats. With locks of fire and flaming freckles, she was truly the most terrifying demon I had ever encountered. None of the stories I had heard about the horrifying monster prepared me for the sight of her.
Slowly I began to shake her but I quickly realized it was of use. Even my most violent shakes failed to create even the smallest stir from the beast. With all my might I tried to drag her feet to the floor but even still, she did not wake. I screamed at the top of my lungs, I jumped up and down on the mattress, but nothing could disturb her slumber. In defeat, I slumped over and pulled out a bottle of Kombucha. At the pop of the lid, the beasts eyes opened wide.
"Who has woken me?" gargled the ferocious beast.
My jaw to the floor, I quickly scrambled to grab the Adderall and blueberry bagel I had brought to offer the beast and held them up to her face. As she ate I explained the predicament facing the task force and pleaded for her expertise.
In her fiery rage, she tore back down the hall toward the gathering room. She charged her way through the crowd around the table and stared down at the notes from the morning meeting.
With a grunt, she pulled out a roll of tape and sharpie. In impeccable handwriting, she detailed each of our names onto their own piece of tape and stuck them onto the kitchen cabinets. At last the fiasco of kitchen storage, had been solved. We oohed. We awed. The beast waved... And went back to sleep.
Author's Note: My idea for this story was to do a modern real-life take on the warrior Kumbhakarna. In the Ramayana, Kumbhakarna is a giant warrior who only wakes every six months to eat but is woken by the rakshasas to face the army of monkeys. The story immediately reminded me of trying to wake a friend I worked with this summer so I decided to fuse that experience with the story of waking Kubhakarna. I tried to make "the beast" sound like a fearsome warrior like Kumbhakarna throuhout the story until the end when it is revealed she is an expert in art and organization just like the narcoleptic queen who inspired this modern take.
Story of Kumbhakarna Source. Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913)
Story of Kumbhakarna Source. Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913)
What a plot twist at the end! I imagined the demon was being woken to defeat some powerful enemy or face down a great army like in the Ramayana. I really liked your description of the demon- flaming hair and freckles? I certainly see how this story related to the story that we read. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteOof Hannah, I thoroughly enjoyed that rebranding of the tale of Kumbhakarna. I, for whatever reason, thought the demon was going to end up being the manifestation of anxiety or depression, but was pleasantly surprised to see it turn more to the narcoleptic, organized individual correcting the situation before dipping out and returning to sleep. I feel that’s an extremely relatable situation, told very well.
ReplyDeleteI like that your story is all show and not tell. I like that you tell us how the character is feeling with lines like “With a deep breath & fear in my eyes” It is just brilliant. I also loved all of the tiny details you added in your story. For example, “The tiniest ray of light illuminated the face of the beast”. I feel like most people would just say I saw the beast. Your way of story-telling builds a tone and an atmosphere within the story that is so appealing. I enjoyed the paragraph about trying to wake up the demon because you can hell that he has just exhausted himself and is trying so hard and it really isn’t making any difference. I like the comedy of opening a bottle that wakes her up. That makes me think of the emperor’s new groove when Kuzco laughs on accident after the squirrel pops the balloons to wake up the scary animals and he laugh actually wakes them up.
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