Biography: Any Given Wednesday

Any Given Wednesday

From the moment her feet hit the pavement of the parking lot, Hannah was ready to finally find her place in the world. She was excited to talk about Jesus over a latte. She wanted to take up a new hobby or two like rowing, reading for fun, or playing disc golf. Hannah could not ditch her parents fast enough to explore the town with her new roommate and her friends. At first it was wonderful, she had met so many people that she no longer felt like she was good at remembering names. She was thriving. She went to movies, scavenger hunts, bible studies, poetry slams. She even frequently went out into the hall to play card games or join the jam sessions in the lounges.

On her way to class on Wednesday, she always passed Janet, a girl she had met at an ultimate frisbee game. They had a great conversation about school and the Oklahoma humidity that really doesn't seem so bad when your from Houston. Hannah and Janet always smiled and waves as they crossed paths on the sidewalk or in the hall of their dorm. On Wednesday nights, she went to bible study. She loved talking with John and Kat about how good God is and how college was strengthening their relationships with him. Afterwards, Hannah would go back to her dorm and ask her roommate how many free kazoos had disappeared from the community stockpile she had placed outside their door. Things were going as great as she could have hoped.

On one particular Wednesday, things started to shift. Janet didn't wave when she passed Hannah on the oval. She made some half-hearted attempt at a smile and continued on her way. It wasn't all that strange. Hannah and Janet hadn't spoken in over a month since they first met at ultimate frisbee. Despite having fun, Hannah never went back to play again and she never tried to talk Janet again even though they had such a good talk the first time. Everything resumed to normal when Hannah got to bible study and John asked her if she wanted to get lunch the next day, Kat didn't show up for whatever reason but these things happen. When she got home, Hannah's roommate said all the kazoos had disappeared except for one and she was considering starting a kazoo club.

Several Wednesdays later Hannah and Janet were both in the elevator and they didn't even make eye contact. Hannah skipped bible study because she didn't want to see John because she felt bad for not wanting to go on anymore dates with him. Kat never came anymore either and Hannah started to think no one else there really liked her. Hannah didn't even bother asking about the kazoos. She knew no one had taken the last one and the club was never going to meet. 

For some reason after this Wednesday, Hannah stopped meeting new people for lattes and looking for new hobbies. She wondered why she struggled to make friends. When it finally occurred to her that she may have been somewhat responsible for her own isolation she became discouraged by the idea that everyone looking for friends had found them and she would always feel out of place wherever she went from now on. She grew comfortable going to class, watching TV and getting lattes by herself. It wasn't the life she dreamed but it sufficed.

The truth of the matter is that sometimes you must smile and wave at Janet when she does not smile and wave back. You must stop and ask her if she'd want to try disc golf with you. You must invite people to have lattes who don't like coffee or tea. You must go to bible study and face your Johns. You must call the Kat's who stop showing up. You must stand in the hall and offer people free kazoos. You must send awkward emails to University employees so they will advise your Kazoo club. Those things start to sound more difficult the longer you wait to do them, but you know what? You can do them any given Wednesday.

Author's Note: This story is inspired by my freshman year and my more or less ongoing struggles to be social and stay involved in things. I wanted to capture the feeling of isolation, the ease of falling out of good habits and the difficulty of breaking bad habits. At the same time, I felt a story about a real struggle deserved an optimistic yet truthful ending. It was kind of strange to write a story about myself in the third person but I felt the story would read better that way. Originally I was going to go back and change my name to something else but I decided to leave my name as a way of owning my story (however, I did change the names of the other people mentioned who are based on real people).